Fortuneteller

Deep in the swamps, a solitary house stood out, brightly lit in the deep shadows.  A simple wooden settlement, overgrown with vines and moss, most people would think of it only as a leftover from the old days.  Before everyone lived in the cities, it was every man for himself.

Small things could tell you it was still inhabited.  Carefully cultivated luminescent flowers lit a twisted path to the cottage.  The lights inside could just be solar-powered remnants from years gone by - but sharp eyes would notice the scrupulously clean windows through which they gleamed.  The creek that burbled past the house had a fishing net hung in it, and the bird feeders in the trees were full.  Yes, someone certainly lived here.

All this reassured Frey as Azar lead her towards the house and up its steps.  Now the only worrying thing was what type of person would choose to live out here.  When Azar had told her about the mysterious fortune-teller living out in the swamps, she had been excited and curious.  Now she was just nervous.

Azar knocked at the door and stepped back.  They waited for several minutes; Frey was about to suggest that no one was home when Azar shushed her.  A wrinkled, tiny old woman opened the door.  Azar bowed his head and murmured, "Mama Conna, I hope we haven't interrupted anything.  Please accept this gift."  He offered her the basked of food they had brought.

A broad smile opened up on her face.  "Well this is mighty generous of you.  Come in, come in."

She led them inside and gestured for them to sit in the chairs by the fireplace.  She inspected Frey closely before turning to Azar and saying, "This the one you were telling me about?"

Frey quickly asked, "And just what were you telling about me?" but Azar cut her off.

"Yes, she is," he answered.

"And do you, hmm... satisfy each other's needs?"

Azar blushed and explained to the confused Frey, "She, uh... likes euphemisms.  She's asking if we're uh... ifwe'resexuallyactive," he muttered.
?
Frey was mortified.  "And why does she need to know that?  Why do you need to know that?" she asked the old fortune-teller.

"I don't do virgins.  Virgins are impossible," she said bluntly.  "I always say that no one really needs the advice until they've had a good-"

"Yes we are and maybe we could just get on with it please," Azar blurted out.

Mama Conna laughed and said to Frey, "You've got a prissy one on your hands.  But his heart's in the right place."

"Well, I do know that much," Frey responded, relaxing slightly.

"Let's get you into the back room, dearie.  Better atmosphere."  When Azar stood to join them, she continued, "Oh, no no no no no.  You stay put."  He sat back down with a sigh.

She led Frey into a small room, smelling dizzyingly of incense.  Mama Conna pushed her into a chair and fetched a stool for herself, before pouring them both cups of tea.  "Time to get those shoes off, missy."

"... My shoes?  Don't you normally read tea leaves, or tell the future from hands?"

"Oh, no.  Hands are for amateurs.  Hands are only for what you want to hear.  Feet tell you what you need to hear."

Frey wasn't sure she liked the sound of that.  "What I need to hear?  So, not actually the future?"

"Not at all.  I give you some solid advice, and it's up to you what you do with it."  With that, Frey surrendered her feet to Mama Conna.  "Now, let me tell you something about men... they don't care what you look like.  Eventually, they even stop caring about the sex.  What they really want?  A good cook."

Frey spluttered, "Well, uh that's not really what I was here about..."

"I'm aware of that.  Like I said, telling you what you need to hear, not what you want.  And there are some things that every woman needs to hear.  Now, tell Mama Conna about this problem of yours..."

---

An hour later, she emerged from the back room, her eyes red from tears.  There was something about Mama Conna that had simply made her open up about things she usually kept to herself.  She couldn't help but think that this effect on people was a kind of magic all on its own.  Despite the worryingly accurate analysis of herself and some unexpected advice, Frey felt as if a weight had come off her shoulders.

Azar leapt to his feet, looking as if he had been dozing.  "Are you alright?  Is everything going to be alright?" he asked nervously.

Frey smiled and answered, "Everything is going to be just fine."